Don't whine - laugh.

A young lady comes home from a date, rather sad. Her mother asks,
"What's the matter, honey"?

"Anthony proposed to me an hour ago."
"Then why are you so sad"?

"Because he's an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a Hell!"

"Marry him anyway, dear. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is!"

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells
Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this
year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took
your advice about where to go.

Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii .. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant.

Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas ,and Earlene got pregnant again.

Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn't get pregnant again."

Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's
different?"

Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earlene with me."

Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap.

I carefully removed his glasses. "You know, honey," I said sweetly, "Without your glasses you look like the same handsome young man I married."
"Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you still look pretty good, too!"

I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister."

I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went to theback to make a sandwich.

During our computer class, the teacher chastised one boy for talking to the girl sitting next to him.

"I was just asking her a question," the boy said.

"If you have a question, ask me," the teacher tersely replied.

"Okay," he answered, "Do you want to go out with me Friday night?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bqc6H8sibnE if you have patience =)), u'll find it very funny

If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your butt will get soaking wet.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swiGQew4t8E

hahahah

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Awm9nE8bJtI
this i s too funny...sorry for the chineeese
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-czjBji2yw&NR=1 almost half of our life ...is sleeping

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uwOL4rB-go
so funny....I KILL YOU =)) =)) =))

Man: God?
God: Yes!?
Man: Can I ask you something?
God: Yes.
Man: What is for you a milion of years?
God: A second.
Man: And a milion of dolars?
God: A penny.
Man: God, Can you give me a penny?
God: Wait a second!

this one is funny too: God, can U give me one more second to live?

Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border...
The Italian Customs agent stops them and tells them:
"It’s a illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro.”
“Vot do you mean it'z illegal?” asks the German driver.
“Quattro meansa four” replies the Italian official.
“Qvattro is just ze name of ze automobile”, the Germans retort unbelievingly.
“Look at ze papers: zis car is designt to kerry 5 persons.”
“You can’ta pulla thata one on me!”, replies the Italian customs agent.
“Quattro meansa four. You hava fivea people ina your car and you are thereforea breaking the law.
“ The German driver replies angrily, “You idiot! Call your zupervisor over, I vant to speak to somevone viz more intelligence!”
“Sorry”, responds the Italian official, “He can’ta come. He’sa busy witha 2 guys in a Fiat Uno.”
=)) =))

the craziest world of animals...

i like knock knock jokes
knock knock
who's there
me,i kill you

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Abbott!
Abbott who?
Abbott time you answered the door!

haha, that's why i hate cats!

guys check this out !



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQaC8gjnOYE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JahdnOQ9XCA

this is funny , some of u may seen it before but this is so funny i could watch it 100 times
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4y-waHLz-TU&feature=related

Mephisto wrote:

this is funny , some of u may seen it before but this is so funny i could watch it 100 times
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4y-waHLz-TU&feature=related

hehe ,nice one meph ahmed rullz , very very nice ....ahhh , another one here for persons that like football https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvOdGRcInx0

[b]always you have to smile for everyone,no matter what happens!everyone is more beautiful if he smile

A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"

:))
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=kYypEW94GyU

There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ''Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!''

Herman says, ''I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!''